My Biggest Mistake?

Five days ago I might have made the biggest mistake of my life, or, it might have been the best thing I could ever have done.

Yes, that's right, in the middle of a recession I QUIT MY JOB!!!

My heart starts to thump wildly in my chest, my throat starts to seize up, and my eyes start to get teary with anxiety as I think about my recent actions. Yet, in some way I want to believe that this is exactly what my life needs. Thus far my life has gone somewhat like this:

Born - Baby - Montessori - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Primary School - Secondary School - Secondary School - Secondary School - Secondary School - Secondary School - Secondary School/Eurospar - Post Leaving Certificate Course/Eurospar - College/Eurospar - College/Eurospar - College/Eurospar - College/Eurospar - Eurospar/Writing course - San Francisco - Eurospar.

That brings me exactly to the age of twenty-six. For a person who thinks that she has a lot to give to the world, it isn't much of a resume. I followed the standard path of what I believed should be done--School and college, then career. Yet, I am still waiting for the career part to take off. The uncertainty of this unstructured part of life is the scariest thing I have ever endured.

Having had to come back from a year in San Francisco living the life of a city girl I hopped back into my safe job so that I could earn money while figuring out if Ireland is actually where I wanted to be, rather than sitting on my behind. After a few months of catching up with friends and saying goodbye to other wayward travellers, I decided that Ireland would do me for the time being, as well as allow me to focus my attention on getting my full drivers license and sorting out my health. It was the perfect win-win. When I eventually got my license after eleven months of dedicated driving and having received numerous nos or non-responses to my attempts at job applications, that is where the energy and focus started to drain. That is where the trouble started.

I'm twenty-six and I feel like life is now starting to pass me by without having anything extraordinary with it. Quoting a quote from a Roald Dahl book I've heard again recently:

"Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog."

And that's where the job-quitting came into the scenario (I did not hear this quote before I quit though but it sums it up pretty well.) For a few weeks I had started to hope that I was the next person who would be delighting everyone with the news of a new job. Everyday I got a little more desperate, yet my attempts at job applications were mediocre because my late night shifts and same old way of life in the small town were holding me back. A few weeks ago I started to plan a trip in my head--a month away, two weeks by myself and then two weeks visiting friends and family on the continent. It seemed like a great idea. It formulated one night, I found myself telling my mother about it the next day, and that night I was writing my letter of resignation. And I DID hand it in the next day.

Now, I will say that I am not a person who can rely on mammy and daddy for financial support. I pay my own way in almost everything and did so on my trip to San Francisco. So this action does not come without serious consequences. I will surely eat into any savings I may have whether it be travelling or just living jobless for awhile. I have finally agreed (to myself) that I think this is a worthy cause for this money. I am young and have no attachments to anyone, anywhere (apart from all my dearly beloved family but they won't miss me too much). That's why...

THE TIME IS NOW.

I need the head space to be able to make more decisions. I need new people and places to give me more inspiration. I need change, a boost to my brain cells. The white hairs on my head need different winds to toss and turn them. I may have jumped into the biggest hole that I ever had to dig myself out of but I'm willing to take the chance. If I didn't do it now, then you would see me serving the customers in Eurospar with my rosary beads around my hands and the coffin waiting behind me.

I don't expect things to change right now but I am excited for what could happen. Life is about enjoying and that is what I want to do.


Now, if anyone out there wants to pay me to do something fun then give me a bell. I'll be here in the virtual world letting you all know how far I've dug my way out!